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That's valiant of you.

[ She should feel relieved at his reaction, but somehow she isn't. That calm confidence of his does help, though. He knows his stuff. She made the right choice in contacting him.

It's not that she doubts what he says at all. After all, he's even saved Merisia from her own loneliness and paranoia. She has no reason to question what he's capable of. What's getting to her is a form of anxiety she can't quite explain, but it's there. ]

...then let me rephrase this.

[ Her tone shifts a little more seriously than she intends. As much as she'd like to mask her intent, she still has fairly poor control over her emotions to pull that off. ]

Say someone has a curse placed on their Spiria. One that causes plenty of problems, albeit with no direct effect on their emotions. [ A beat. ] Would you still be able to help them?

[ Is she leaving out information? Yes, she is, but she'll get there when she gets there. One thing at a time. ]

Would I? Of course I would help them! [It's a matter of semantics, as strange as that is for Kor to argue something like that. If there's someone in need, he helps them, regardless of his own ability to contribute to the situation.

There's a brief pause from Kor, and when he next speaks up is the first time his voice shows any sort of uncertainty since this conversation. he knows that's not the sort of answer Merisia was looking for.]

...But could I? I dunno, maybe? If the curse has some kinda physical form inside their Spiria, yeah, I could deal with it no problem. But if it doesn't, then... I'm not sure.

I see. I guess some things are even beyond you, huh...

[ Merisia is barely surprised. Of course Kor would give her a response like that. This is the same boy who climbed a tree without a second thought, just to retrieve a pouch he knew nothing about for someone he knew didn't like him. Helping people without much, if any, of a second thought is just what he does. Still, she can't help but show some disappointment for his later response. Whether or not it was possible for him was still a mystery, and there is very much the possibility that Kor may have encountered the Echo while in her Spiria and opted to leave it alone. After all, that it's a curse is just Merisia's opinion of it, not its true or intended nature.

There's an uneasy pause as Merisia tries to figure out how to respond. To push this any further would risk letting Kor in on the truth, and that's not something Merisia is sure she wants to do. Sure, she trusts him, otherwise she would never have brought this up in the first place. But even the kindest of people can completely turn on someone if they find out one stray fact they may not like. And how would Kor feel if he knew that Merisia had the power she does? Would he consider it a danger, especially given that she has no control over it? Would he consider it some kind of blessing like the Scions seem to? Would he be like the Garleans, who saw her as a monster for it? She doubts that last one, but the fear is so deeply ingrained that she can't escape her own caution. Merisia knows she has to explain herself eventually - otherwise Kor will end up finding out in some nasty way like Sorey did - but that doesn't mean she's looking forward to it.

Luckily for her, Kor gives her something else to ask about. ]

But what do you mean by physical form? [ And this is the point where she realizes just how far her lack of knowledge goes. Okay, yeah, she has to ask this one. ] Just what is the inside of someone's Spiria supposed to be like?

[ She assumed it was something more abstract than what Kor is implying, aside from the fact that he had apparently seen or otherwise experienced visions. Apparently her assumption was way off the mark. ]

[Oh boy oh boy, he gets to explain what a Spiria Nexus is like. How exciting!]

Well, back home, whenever I'd go into someone's Spiria Nexus, it's always like this big crystal maze, and the worse of shape the person's Spiria's in, the more twisted that maze becomes! And at the center is their core, which is where that person's true self lies, and also usually where whatever the problem is too.

[It was always the same, aside from minor differences.]

But here, it's a little different. Every Nexus I've been in has varied, probably because people from other worlds don't have Spirias like I know them. They always look like some place that's important to that person.

[ That's...a lot to take in, even for someone as eager for knowledge as Merisia. True self? A crystal maze, inside someone's Spiria? But she thought souls were more immaterial than that. Maybe it works differently than she's assuming. ]

I see. It makes sense that each Spiria Nexus would vary from one to the next. People are different, after all. That more variances because of all of us being from various worlds only adds to that...

[ She has no idea she's essentially mumbling this "out loud". Sorry, Kor. Old habit.

It's interesting, to be sure, but she also can't help but feel somewhat unnerved by it. The more she thinks about there being some kind of maze within her own heart, the more tangled her feelings become. She may as well ask more; it's relevant anyway. ]

...mind telling me what was mine like, or is that some sort of top-secret somatic knowledge?

Well, I kinda make it a policy of mine to not talk to people about their Spirias. Most people can't really handle the weight of what their inner worlds are like, you know?

[And ironically, being able to handle that weight is a hallmark of a true Somatic. If you can't handle the ugly truth of what your Spiria is like, how can you possibly bear the weight of someone else's?]

But if you think you can handle it, I'll tell you.

[ Merisia wants to argue that she can handle it, but she knows better. After all, how many times has she insisted that she was fine, and that there was nothing wrong, only for the opposite to be true? Does she really want to know what her own Spiria is like? By all rights, she should have every right to know. It's her Spiria, after all. And just like with the Echo, Merisia's reasoning is that knowledge she isn't happy with is better than nothing at all. The temptation to believe that Merisia isn't "most people" is fairly strong, but Kor doesn't speak lightly about these things. It might be too much, at least for now. It's honestly a lot to digest just knowing there's a world of sorts in there. ]

Fair point...

[ But there's still something she wants to know about what he saw in there. It's getting harder and harder to dodge the issue without outright asking Kor, so she opts to approach this slowly. After taking a moment to ensure she's sending this conversation to Kor and Kor alone, she continues. ]

There's just something about what was in there that I wanted to ask you about. It's not something I openly bring up, but finding you with the amulets was faster than tracking you down in person. After hearing that you'd had a vision of a meteor shower while you were in there, I got to thinking, and... [ She hesitates for a moment. This would be a lot easier in person, but this was the faster method. ] I honestly thought you would have figured it out by now, and you're just doing a better job of keeping quiet than I gave you credit for.

[ Another long pause as she tries to figure out how to say this. Eventually, unable to come up with anything, she gives up and gets straight to the point. ]

Kor. I need your help, even if it's just advice and not action. But you need to promise me you won't tell anyone, no matter what. Got it?

Edited 2018-04-10 03:19 (UTC)

[Kor stares blankly as Merisia rambles. He wasn't really sure where she was going with all this. Yeah, he remembers that vision of the meteor shower he had inside her Spiria, but he wasn't really sure how that specifically was relevant to whatever she was on about.

But her saying she needs his help was enough to get him to snap to action.]

When it comes to matters of the Spiria, I never tell a soul! You have my word and honor as a Somatic! [It was an oath he threw around often these, but anyone who knows Kor knows how important being a Somatic is to him. He'd never betray that oath.]

So what is it?

Hmph... I should've known you'd agree so readily.

[ Kor never does change. The question is, will he still be willing to help once he knows the truth? Merisia wants to believe that he will, but the only way to really be sure is to just tell him anyway. He's a good kid, she even considers him a friend, but this wasn't just any old secret. Several long moments of silence pass before Merisia takes a deep breath, and explains. She isn't going to get her fear to calm down, so she might as well just spit it out already. ]

There's this...gift that I have, called the Echo. Some people say it's the ability to touch souls, or to resonate with them. I'm not sure how long I've had it, or what about it is supposed to be a gift. The only thing I know about it for sure is the vision I'd seen of a meteor shower just before it started causing me nothing but trouble. [ Remember when she mentioned curses, Kor? Well, there you go. ] There are some people in my world who would see me as some kind of monster if they knew. Rather than painting a target on my back for them to put a sword through, I keep the Echo a secret, even here.

The other Eorzeans that arrived in this world say there's no way to get rid of it, let alone control it. You, on the other hand, aren't bound by the laws of Eorzea. I'd rather not drag you into this, but I'm out of options. If anyone can help me with something like this, it's you. I just hope I'm not making a mistake by telling you about this.

[ Somehow, getting all of that out does Merisia's anxiety absolutely no favors. She already hates asking for help, but asking for help about this is infinitely worse. ]

[There's a brief moment of silence, only a second or two, before Kor speaks again.]

Is there something you're not telling me here? Because I don't get why this Echo thingy's a curse. I mean... I understand you not liking it in your world if it got you enemies, why's it a problem here? Is it something to do with that ability? How does it "resonate" with someone's soul?

[Kor's only got the faintest inkling what that could possibly mean, and it's that inkling that leaves him even more confused. How could a power like that possibly be bad?]

[ The temptation to let out a sigh of relief is there, but Merisia resists. Just because Kor is listening doesn't mean this will end well. ]

I wish I knew. All I've got are theories so far.

[ Kor is right, though. Merisia hasn't quite explained everything, and these details are something Merisia isn't looking forward to. Rather than explain everything at once, she decides to take this one step at a time...her own emotional balance permitting. Staying calm is difficult when she's so on edge. ]

You remember when you were telling me about why you were never allowed to leave home? How I knew Creed's name, even though you never told me? [ Merisia pauses for a moment to let that sink in. She clearly remembers the look on his face when he asked her how she knew about Creed. It was almost haunting, and made her all the more reluctant to explain herself. But that silence has to end now. ] I never heard the explanation you told me. I had a vision right then, of a woman with green hair explaining something about and xeroms and Gardenia. I watched her explain how that thing had doomed her world...and I watched you ask her why Creed had been sealed away inside of you. I know his name because I heard it from you and the others that were with you.

[ Seeing Kor in the state he was in back then was painful in a way she still can't quite describe, let alone the rest of the awful imagery she'd been graced with. Her present worries aren't doing her any favors, either, but she continues. ]

It was like I was there, Kor. That's how these visions always are. And that's only one thing that the Echo makes me suffer through.

Edited 2018-04-18 03:35 (UTC)

So there's more? [Kor seems unfazed by Merisia's explanation of what happened that day. Perhaps if she'd learned something else that day, something that he hadn't been telling her, it might have been different, but as he sees it, she didn't see anything she didn't need to. And even if she had... It wouldn't be that big of a deal to Kor if she'd been up front about it like this. Which he knows she wouldn't have been, at least not back then.

But right now, he's still not seeing how this ability is a bad thing, at least in the right hands.]

What else is there?

[Right now, he can't help but think of the ways people having this sort of ability could be good.]

[ Something about Kor's response confuses Merisia, though only momentarily, before she finds her emotions getting muddled and tangled up somewhere between fear and anger and worry. But, most of all, she's surprised. He's taking this a lot better than she thought. A lot better. Of course, there's always the possibility that he could snap at her later. She just needs to press forward, for now. Stopping to question Kor's reactions is just going to complicate this. ]

... I've been told it protects you from the influence of primals. Then there's strength in battle, and the ability to understand others even if they're speaking in an unfamiliar language. Anything past that is too vague.

[ And therein lies a big part of the problem. Merisia's carefully maintained calm begins to break down. ]

There's no telling what else this damn thing is doing to me. I can't keep my mind to myself, I don't even know if my strength is my own... I've got no say in anything, it's just there and it happens whenever it damn well sees fit! For all I know, there's some horrible price I'm going to have to pay for all of this that I never signed up for! Well, I don't want any of it! I never asked to be deemed beastman myself just because I can understand them! I never asked to be haunted by visions! I never asked to watch Dezel die!

[ Maybe it's a good thing that she's not actually in the same room as Kor right now, because she's trembling a little from pent-up stress. When it comes down to it, Merisia is scared, and some of her older paranoias are resurfacing alongside new ones. What if this ruins the friendship she has with Kor? She'd finally come to trust him; what if this revelation brings that all crashing down on top of her? What if he starts seeing her the same way as the Garleans, and comes after her? Unless that stability Y'shtola talked about extends that far, Merisia has no defense against a Somatic. Kor could destroy her from the inside out.

And yet, here she is, asking him for help anyway. If her past self saw this, she'd think she'd finally gone insane. ]

I've done everything I can to find some way to either get rid of this thing or hide it away. There's nothing. I'd rather not involve you in this, Kor. You're a good friend and I- I trust you, but I'm out of options. So please, even if you hate me, just...

[ Her voice trails off there. With any luck, Kor's calm reaction to things up until this point is a good sign, but there's too much dread for Merisia to really see it right now. ]

[There's a noticeable silence from Kor for a moment. Several tings were starting to click for Kor. One, he was starting to understand the issues between Merisia and Dezel. Two, he was starting to understand why Merisia herself feared this power of hers. But there was plenty he didn't get.]

...Sorry, Merisia. I just... I don't understand. How anyone could think a beautiful gift like that is a curse, or that you're a monster for having it, or anything like that.

[To Kor, that's exactly what the Echo seemed like. Not a curse, but a gift.]

I told you, Fluora created Somas because she wanted to create a way for people to be able to understand each other. And that's what your Echo is. It's the power to understand other people. You can understand what they're saying, and where they're coming from, what they've been through... You can understand it all. If more people could do stuff like that, then there wouldn't be a need for Somatics like me. And if everyone could do that, then maybe you wouldn't have been treated so poorly for having this power...

[There's another brief pause from Kor.]

...Sorry, I know that's probably not the answer you wanted to hear from me. But I mean it, it really is a beautiful gift. But... If you still want me to help you...

[He trails off. If she still wants him to try and remove her Echo, he'll do what he can. Even if he's not sure he could do anything at all in this situation.]

[ Every single worry Merisia had about how Kor would react to this seems to have gone in the complete opposite direction. Of course, now that she's heard his view on this, it makes perfect sense. She almost feels foolish for letting her own biases blind her to the possibility now that it's so plainly in front of her.

Not only is Kor's view on the Echo true to how she knows him, but the way he expresses those views is just as open and unafraid and heartfelt as she should have expected. Even after everything she's said about it, after all the hardship it's caused her, he still thinks it's beautiful simply because it helps her understand people so well. Faced with Kor's viewpoint clashing with her own, Merisia suddenly finds herself forced to dig up and face her issues with the Echo rather than shoving the whole thing away in favor of condemning it altogether. Really, at this point, fear of the unknown and of the lack of control is the only thing she can come up with. ]

If you were forced into someone's Spiria completely out of nowhere and without your say so, wouldn't you be scared?

[ Only now does it sink in that, even though Kor disagrees with her overall view on the Echo, he's still willing to help her. Merisia feels a dull ache in her heart and she pauses, taking a few shaky, uncertain breaths. Damn it all, this kid is too nice for his own good. How the hells did she end up stuck with him?

When she speaks again, her voice wavers. She's still scared, but the waves of fear coming from her are more subdued and exhausted, making way for confusion and some unsteady combination of trust and hope. ]

...I was...worried that you would hate me, too. That some way or another, you'd see the Echo as some kind of problem or a threat. Yet here you are, talking about it like it's the best thing that could have ever happened. You're taking this whole thing a lot better than I was ready for. [ She lets out a weak huff... Is it laughter? A sob? An angry huff? Even she isn't sure, but it still helps. ] Even after all of that, you're still willing to help me...?

[ There's an unspoken "Why?" after that, but Merisia doesn't bother tacking it on. Somehow, she has a feeling she knows what kind of answer Kor will give her. ]

[Kor's response this time comes to Merisia almost immediately. If there's one thing Kor understands in spades, it's the concepts of fear and bravery. Even after his change in alignment, it's still an understanding that comes naturally to him.]

Of course I'd be scared. [He can say that with absolute certainty because it's happened to him.] I'm scared any time I'm doing a Spiria Link. I never what awaits me or what I'm going to have to do or if I'm even going to make it out of there. [Despite his talks of fear, though, he speaks with absolute calmness.]

...But the way I see it, if I'm there, I'm there for a reason, even if I didn't choose to be there. If there's something I can do with my power, no matter how small it might be, then I'll do it.

[It's a viewpoint he'd genuinely hope that Merisia could take regarding her own gift, that she can change the world with the Echo, even if it's just in a small way. But that's not something he can make her see.]

Of course I'd still help you. [Even though the why is unspoken, Kor picks up on its implicitness.] I'll always help my friends out, no matter the stakes.

[There's a quiet huff of laughter on his end.] Just remember that it's the help I think you need.

[ And now it all makes sense. Kor might have a lot more control over his Soma than Merisia does over the Echo, but his basic view doesn't change: It's less to do with what those abilities are, and much more with how they're used. Had she just been so stubbornly focused on the dangers and inconveniences that came with the Echo that she'd failed to pay enough attention to...well, anything else that it gave her?

It's true that she's used what she has learned and understood to move some things forward or to make the right choice, but Merisia had only ever seen that as making the most out of a bad situation, rather than properly using the "gift" she'd been given. That Kor essentially shares her fear drives the whole point home a little more, and she can't help but sympathize. Even so, he's adamant about seeing it as a good thing. ]

Hmph. Leave it to you to find the silver lining in this mess, Sparkles. [ It's less that she doesn't agree with him, and more that she just doesn't want to admit it. Not that she'll complain if he can see right through her.

Merisia can't help but laugh at this point. It's quiet, and a bit weak, but more out of relief than amusement. She'd done all that worrying and hesitation for almost nothing. Sure, the Echo was a huge deal for Merisia, but this is Kor. What else did she expect him to say?

Plus, this wouldn't be the first time he's helped her. And, thinking about it, he could have easily done a lot worse. Kor could have easily just brainwashed Merisia into trusting people - and quite frankly, that's what she had expected him to do - but he didn't. He'd found the root of the problem and fixed that instead. Maybe he really could do the same thing with the Echo. Maybe he'd find something she (or even the Scions) never could.

Letting out a sigh, Merisia replies. She almost sounds happy, if a bit quiet. ]

I'd be fine with that. This is your field and all.

[ Kor might be too reckless for Merisia's liking, true, and she has a hard time making sense of him sometimes. But when it comes to stuff like this? He's honest, responsible, and most of all he knows what he's doing. She trusts him. Maybe she should have trusted him with this ages ago. ]

... Thanks.

Sure, any time. [He smiles, a warmth coming over the connection like a radiant ray of sunshine.]

Just say the word and I'll be ready for you.

[ Merisia can't help a weak smile, offering a quiet but noticeable warmth of appreciation in return. It's getting harder and harder to believe that she'd sooner hurl insults and maybe a few miasma spells at this kid rather than speak to him. How did this end up happening, again? Whatever it was, she's glad it happened. ]

Well, I'm not going anywhere. And the sooner we get this over with, the better.

[ And less time for her to change her mind and suddenly back off all over again. If the past has taught her anything, it's that hesitation can be quite a disastrous downfall. ]

I'm home right now, so I'll wait for you here.

[Sounds to him like she wants it done now.]

Great, I'll be over there as soon as I can, then.

[But hopefully, Merisia understands that in all likelihood, Kor isn't going to "remove" her Echo like she seems to be hoping.]

Right...

[ She's not really sure if Kor's eagerness is a good sign or a worrisome one. Better that she doesn't gives this too much thought, or the pain of having to share that secret with him will have all been for nothing but making one grand mess.

Merisia leaves Kor with a brief but clear set of directions to her apartment, mostly through images and maps. ]

I'll leave the door open for you.

[ With that she does the mental equivalent of backing away, though she doesn't cut off the connection. For whatever reason, she doesn't want to just yet, even though she really doesn't have anything else to say. If anything, it's something to focus on to keep her nerves from getting worse than they already are.

It scares Merisia that she has no idea what Kor will even do. He did say that he would be giving the help he thought she needed, not necessarily the help she herself wanted. Would he really remove it? Would he leave it there? He didn't share her negative opinion of it, after all. She had little choice but to trust Kor's judgement, and hope that however he opted to carry his decision out didn't hurt either of them.

When Kor arrives, the apartment will be dark and somewhat sapped of color. Not impossible to see in, but clear enough that some emotional effects are at play. There's also a cold static in the air, flickering about every minute or so. Carbuncle is nowhere to be seen, although there is a large cat sleeping on top of a haphazard pile of books (how he's comfortable there is anyone's guess). Merisia sits at a desk surrounded by even more piles and stacks of books, her back turned and her amulet - a meteor-shaped pendant - clutched tightly in one hand. ]

[It's not long before he arrives at Merisia's apartment, having made his way over there as quickly as his speedy legs would take him. When he does so, he's not surprised by the kind of decor Merisia keeps. She always struck him as the intelligent, scholarly type, so books being everywhere seems just like her. It reminded him of Euclase's house.

What was concerning to him was the emotional effects at play, though. The way Merisia sounded on the amulet seemed fine and normal to him. So seeing this was... worrisome. He decides to call out to her.]

Merisia? Hey, I'm here!

[ The moment Merisia hears Kor's voice, things shift in the apartment. The darkness ebbs - though not entirely - and the air warms. This isn't something she's looking forward to, but as shaky as things are and as apprehensive as she feels, Kor is someone she trusts. He knows what he's doing. ]

You got here fast.

[ She sits up, turning to face her visitor. There's really no point to hiding how worried she feels, so her usual stern look is missing. ]

Just how do you plan on going about all this, anyway? [ She has a feeling she knows the answer, but she might as well ask anyway. For all she knows, Kor is a bag of tricks just like Sora. That and, well...Merisia isn't just worried about herself, here. ]

Honestly... [He hadn't given it a whole lot of thought as to what he was going to do, at least insofar as to be able to give an answer on that. Despite promising her that he'd make an attempt, he didn't really have any intent to actually try to remove her Echo, though he wasn't so sure how obvious that was to Merisia.

Might as well be obvious about his plans.]

I was just planning on winging it. I dunno what to expect when it comes to your Echo.

[ Merisia isn't sure whether that should be amusing - after all, this is Kor, did she really expect anything else? - or worried. She shakes her head. ]

Figures.

[ She really does have little choice other than to trust in Kor. If only that were all there was to this... ]

I'd tell you not to do anything stupid, but there's no point in that. [ She knows your type, kid. ] Just be careful, alright? I don't know what to expect either, and I don't want you getting hurt because of me.

[ She knows precious little, after all, and there could be some dangerous secrets hiding within that she's yet to learn of. The fact that Kor is willing to jump into this without knowing what to be ready for speaks either of his recklessness or his reliability. Merisia is doing her best to lean towards the latter of the two. She trusts him, but she can't help but be worried. ]

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