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[He had worried about that for a moment. But it was nice to hear that he was still there - and more importantly - actually wanted to listen to him for once. It was something he had wanted before.]

There is nothing much that can be done. Demons live for hundreds, thousands of years, and I know humans on average barely even scratch a fraction of that.

Even if there was a way to keep others from leaving, or pick and choose when to leave, none of you are going to ever stay here forever. I could always try making new friends with more humans to replace everyone I lost, but in about a hundred years, it's just going to be something I see happen again.

[Emizel dips down more. Deep darkening thoughts he had to keep away all this time just so he could function again. He did not really want to bring them back into the light this way, especially not a day that was supposed to represent joy and happiness.]

'Friends' is not term used very often by demons. We work together sometimes if our goals happen to line up at the time, but it all could end suddenly. With maybe only a few exceptions.

I don't think I could do something like that anymore, but I can't help but think that I made a mistake somewhere. In some way I wonder if I might actually be happier longer had I just stayed on my own.

[Kor frowns hearing Emizel's explanation. He'd heard it before, but this was the first time he'd really listened.]

But... Do you really believe that? That'd you really be happier if you didn't have any friends?

[Emizel had to think on that for a moment.]

...No, I don't think so.

But I also don't know what else I can do.

[Kor's glad Emizel gave him the answer he did, because he'd call him out if he'd answered otherwise, considering the reason they're talking in the first place.]

You make it sound like you have to do something about this. But why?

[Now Emizel is the one being deadly silent for a minute.]

Because I know that I will be dealing with this pain for a long time.

...I know, but... [There's a pause, as he thinks about this. There's a fundamental flaw, as he sees it, in how Emizel thinks about it.]

I just... don't understand why you have to see it as pain. Sure, it hurts to lose people, but... Aren't the memories and experiences you've shared worth that pain?

Edited 2018-01-30 02:54 (UTC)

I...I don't know. I never had that many friends before. I never knew what loss felt like before either.

I only know one other demon that got attached to a human, and he still felt guilty what happened to her 400 years later.

[Although, it wasn't an ordinary demon either...]

But... Isn't the fact that he feels bad all the proof you need that they were close and he cared about her?

[He gets that Emizel is trying to say that demons are different from others, but his examples are really kind of just driving home to Kor that at their cores, they're really no different than anyone else, as much as they try to be.]

Don't you know the saying, "it's better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all?" Even though it hurts to lose someone you care about, that emptiness you feel from losing them is nothing compared to the void of never knowing them in the first place.

Well, of course he did. But...

[There was also things missing out from that story that made it work out in the end. They could stay together for however long they want to now. Emizel won't have that sort of luxury with anyone. At least not here.]

Kor...

If none of us leave, I will have to watch all of you die. And the worst part is, it won't feel like any time at all to me. Even though it might seem like ages to you.

And if this were home...I'd even have to end you all myself.

[He was in full sobbing now.]

I don't - I can't keep going through with that every time I meet someone.

[The notion that Emizel would "have to end" his friends himself strikes Kor hard. That raises a lot of questions for him, there's so much he still doesn't quite understand about what Emizel is. Questions he'll need to have answered.

...But later. He can't get sidetracked.]

That's what I don't understand, Emizel. If that's the case, then why does being alone sound any better to you?

['Don't understand this, can't understand that.' Hearing those words each and every time he tried explaining himself took a toll on him. Wasn't Kor supposed to making him feel less alone?]

[....Although, it still seemed pointless to try. Emizel knew that he was and always will be alone, at this rate. This conversation was proof how strikingly unusual he was to everyone else in this world. No one could possibly relate to him. That's what made him extra alone.]

All...you people do is tell me that I'm wrong. My feelings are wrong. My reasoning is wrong. Sometimes even my own being is plain wrong. And you somehow don't think I already am alone?!

[He continued to lash Kor with words. But then it suddenly turned into desperate pleading towards... well, anyone that would actually listen to him. It's very clear that he was still crying.]

I want there to be others that can stay with me. Just once. N-not just for one year but like a few hundred, thousand years like normal. Just so I can stop being scared about them disappearing, or getting too old, o-or anything like that. I can just take my time for once. I don't want to worry about any of those things anymore and then I never have to be lonely again.

...But it's never going to happen. It won't and likely never will.

[He spent time trying to get more of the gut-wrenching, frustratingly painful grief he had been building for a good while now out. It won't satisfy all of it, but it was about time some of it finally burst.]

[Also when Emizel finally came back, he was almost uncharacteristically cold.]

...B-but oh, go ahead and tell me how you don't understand that either. I'm waiting to hear what I did wrong this time. Say it right in my face, I dare you!

[Kor listens to Emizel's rant for a while there. Every time he's about to interject, Emizel continues on, forcing Kor to hold off on what he's about to say. It's fine, he can wait.

...That is, until that last thing Emizel says comes out. Immediately, there's a loud SNAP! that comes across the feed. No, to call it a snap would be an understatement, because what it sounds like is more akin to a thunderclap, a lightning bolt striking the plains, as Kor's emotions reach a boiling point here.]

Dammit Emizel! Of course I don't understand! I don't understand how you can be so selfish about this! You think you're the only one affected by this?! [There's a brief pause, and when he comes back, his voice is shaky, mired by angry tears.] You make it sound like we don't want to be there for you! Do you think we don't wish we could all live forever and be there for our friends?! If it was up to me, I'd never leave any of my friends behind... I don't want any of them to feel lonely! I don't want any of them to have to feel like Creed did!

[Another pause, as he stops to try and swallow back his anger and sadness.] S-so yeah... I don't understand... Even after you told me all that, it doesn't make any sense to me. Your Spiria craves love and friendship, even though losing it hurts, Emizel! So I don't understand why you want to just shove everyone away and hurt yourself even more!

[...Selfish. Right. That's exactly it, isn't it?]

[Emizel had almost considered leaving. But you know? He kind of does not care anymore.]

...Then I doubt you would understand. I don't expect some human would know anyway.

[It seems even here, humans are not too bright, as they are expendable.]

You can't be there for me. Humans have to die eventually. And then their souls need to wiped clean so that they can live and die all over again.

I don't...like making human friends anymore. And I especially don't want to think what it'll be like when I have to take their souls away.

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