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[ Merisia's had a busy few months, and that's the excuse she's using to explain why she hasn't contacted Kor earlier. Well, that and the fact that her reasons had been thrown into question for some time, but she's far less willing to admit to that.

All that said, Merisia had plenty of other questions stewing in her mind for quite some time anyway, and it's taking a lot to keep that curiosity from getting the better of her. The layer of calm she's using to keep it under control is practically paper-thin. ]

You have a minute, Sparkles? I've been meaning to ask you something.

Edited 2018-03-11 20:06 (UTC)

[Merisia contacting Kor was a rarity, enough so that it takes him completely by surprise. It wasn't a bad thing that she didn't normally contact him. That was just her style, she wasn't the type to reach out to people all willy-nilly, especially just for idle conversation.]

Hm? Sure, what's up?

I was just wondering about that weapon of yours... You called it a Soma, right? I've been curious about it since I've seen you wield it when we fought those monsters.

[ Merisia has a relatively serious reason for contacting Kor. But is she going to start with that? No. Absolutely not. BEcause what little she's seen of his weapon is intriguing and fascinating and she's been waiting to ask about it and satisfy her curiosity for a long time. ]

How did you summon it like that? Is it difficult to wield? What is it made of? It almost looked like dunamis to me, or some kind of aetherial construct, but given how varied things can be in this place I couldn't just dismiss the possibility that it might be something else...

[ Whoops, there she goes. ]

[Merisia's outburst catches Kor even more off-guard than her contacting him in the first place did. He's never heard her say so much at once like that, much less ask so many questions.]

Whoa, whoa! Easy there! I-I'll answer any questions you want! Just... One at a time, please! [You're going to overload the poor boy.]

[ The screeching halt Merisia's thoughts just came to is practically audible. It's also immediately follows by a good bit of embarrassment. Once something catches her interest, she can't learn about it fast enough, but she can very easily get ahead of herself. ]

Alright, alright, fine...

[ One thing at a time. Hopefully all the questions she wants to ask won't slip her mind in the process. ]

I just wanted to know more about the weapon you were using. What exactly is it? [ She comes very close to tacking another question onto the end of that one, but restrains herself...for now. ]

[Okay. Single questions. That's better. He can focus on one answer at a time that way.]

It's called a Soma. It's an heirloom from my Gramps, and it's a super special weapon.

[To assist in his explanation, he sends an image into Merisia's mind of the bracer that he normally wears on his left arm.]

[ Not quite as in-depth of an answer as Merisia had hoped...but then again, what did she really expect? Still, what Kor does offer her is still interesting indeed. ]

An heirloom... [ So it's not just any weapon, it's important to him. She'll be sure to be mindful of that, then. ]

You told me a long time ago that a Soma was 'a tool designed to synchronize with its wielder's Spiria'. I didn't know it was your weapon, as well.

[ She's not sure if she should be apprehensive or impressed that something essentially used to heal can also be used for such destruction. Then again, it's not as though conjury or even archanima are that much different. ]

But how does it just appear from nowhere like that? The only other weapon I've ever seen that from was the keyblade...

That's right. [Since Merisia wants explanations, now she'll get them.] You see, a Soma's true purpose is actually to help Spirias form bonds with each other, since Somas connect with Spirias. It's supposed to reflect what lies within its wielder's Spiria: Gramps told me I have a sword 'cause I'm "sincere and strong", but if someone else learned how and tried to use it, they'd get something different!

[To assist with that, Kor presents a mental image as he recalls what his grandfather looked like wielding his Soma, wielding a giant battleaxe.]

They weren't always meant for battle, but... I guess wartimes eventually made them that way because of their capabilities...

[There's a pause.]

Anyway, it appears like that because it's creating a form based on the wielder's Spiria. The stronger the Spiria, the stronger the Soma!

[ Explanations are good. They make her inner nerd happy.

Merisia listens with great interest. The information she gets is a bit surprising, but it makes sense the more she thinks about it. Kor's Soma was already interesting to Merisia before, but the more she learns, the more fascinated she gets. It helps that she wasn't expecting Kor to know quite so much about it. He really knows his stuff, here. ]

I see. So its form varies from person to person. In that sense, it's more like Ruby than it is like the keyblade...

[ ... She isn't paying enough attention to keep those thoughts and conjecture to herself. Her habit of thinking out loud truly knows no boundaries when these kinds of discussions are involved. Sorry, Kor.

Though, there's other insight to be had as well beyond just what she's heard. Kor never initially described his Soma as any kind of weapon despite the fact that it could be used as one; a clear indicator that he seems very in tune to using and viewing a soma for those purposes rather than as an instrument of battle. Considering what a somatic is supposed to do (according to him, at least), that's an admirable sign. Sincere and strong, indeed.

All this chatter is doing a lot to tone down her anxiety, shifting it instead toward a cheerful eagerness she doesn't usually show. Merisia hasn't forgotten the original reason she contacted Kor, but distracting her with new knowledge is really taking off the edge...and maybe a bit of her usual stern mask with it. With any luck, it'll last. ]

I'm not sure I follow. Helping spirias form bonds with each other isn't the same thing as entering their spiria, is it? [ Because he described that quite differently. Just how many more tricks is this thing capable of? ]

No, but... It's kinda related? [How best to put this...] You see, Spirias form bonds with each other when they trust, accept, support, and understand each other! But that gets hard when your Spiria is clouded by negative, conflicted emotions, maybe even ones you aren't really aware of. So that's where a Somatic comes in! Since we can go into a person's Spiria, we can help them sort out their emotions and get that clarity back!

[Don't expect him to explain how exactly a Somatic does that part.]

It was Fluora's dream that one day, everyone's Spirias could bond together, because that means no one would fight anymore. That's why she made the Somas in the first place. I dunno how close we are to making it happen, but... I'm sure it's possible.

[ Merisia's not sure if that's just a really roundabout way of explaining friendship or if Kor's talking about something else, but knowing him it's likely the latter. It's the safest bet, at this point; being dismissive is only going to bite her in the rear later. ]

A world without fighting? That's a pretty tall order. Not everyone's going to get along perfectly.

[ Two people snarling and snapping at one another was the whole reason Kor and Merisia met in the first place, after all, and Merisia doesn't see her relationship with that damn seraph changing any time soon. But that doesn't mean she isn't hopeful; Fluora's dream isn't impossible. Merisia's known too many impossible people to think otherwise. Plus, it's really, really hard to disagree with Kor's conviction. It might almost be contagious.

Unfortunately, it looks like this whole thing is looping right back around to the reason she contacted him in the first place. Merisia had been partially hoping she could just sidestep that whole issue and let herself be distracted by other things, but she can't hold off forever. ]

So the goal of doing that is to help people form bonds with others. Still... Jumping into someone's Spiria in the first place is dangerous. [ He even said so himself long ago. ] What if there's something else waiting for you in there, other than just negative emotions? Somatics can't fixed cursed Spirias, can they?

[ "Cursed" is the closest she wants to get to saying anything. With any luck, her attempt at seeming hypothetical will work and Kor won't notice anything, but Merisia is prepared for either route to happen. After all, kids like him tend to be observant when she least expects it. Whether he picks up on it or not, though, she's not sure which answer she's hoping for. One would mean she might be able to ask him for help, the other would mean he can stay safe and won't have to get dragged into her mess. She knows she should have just a little more faith in him, but this is different. It's a matter she can't take lightly, and approaching Kor about it at all is enough to make her nervous all over again. ]

[It's a little of both there, Merisia.]

There's usually always something else waiting there, I'm lucky if it's just as easy as some negative emotions! [He laughs, sounding pretty nonchalant about the whole thing.] Xeroms, Spiria Core Shards, violent manifestations of a person's Spiria... You name it, I've probably run into it before. Danger's just something you accept when you're a Somatic, because putting your life on the line is worth helping someone save theirs!

I'm not really sure what you mean by a "cursed" Spiria, but... I've saved people from grief, despair, even the depths of their own loneliness. I don't think there's any such thing as an "unfixable" Spiria, unless that person doesn't want to change! [He's met people like that before, and while he's ultimately gotten through to them... Boy do they make things difficult...]

That's valiant of you.

[ She should feel relieved at his reaction, but somehow she isn't. That calm confidence of his does help, though. He knows his stuff. She made the right choice in contacting him.

It's not that she doubts what he says at all. After all, he's even saved Merisia from her own loneliness and paranoia. She has no reason to question what he's capable of. What's getting to her is a form of anxiety she can't quite explain, but it's there. ]

...then let me rephrase this.

[ Her tone shifts a little more seriously than she intends. As much as she'd like to mask her intent, she still has fairly poor control over her emotions to pull that off. ]

Say someone has a curse placed on their Spiria. One that causes plenty of problems, albeit with no direct effect on their emotions. [ A beat. ] Would you still be able to help them?

[ Is she leaving out information? Yes, she is, but she'll get there when she gets there. One thing at a time. ]

Would I? Of course I would help them! [It's a matter of semantics, as strange as that is for Kor to argue something like that. If there's someone in need, he helps them, regardless of his own ability to contribute to the situation.

There's a brief pause from Kor, and when he next speaks up is the first time his voice shows any sort of uncertainty since this conversation. he knows that's not the sort of answer Merisia was looking for.]

...But could I? I dunno, maybe? If the curse has some kinda physical form inside their Spiria, yeah, I could deal with it no problem. But if it doesn't, then... I'm not sure.

I see. I guess some things are even beyond you, huh...

[ Merisia is barely surprised. Of course Kor would give her a response like that. This is the same boy who climbed a tree without a second thought, just to retrieve a pouch he knew nothing about for someone he knew didn't like him. Helping people without much, if any, of a second thought is just what he does. Still, she can't help but show some disappointment for his later response. Whether or not it was possible for him was still a mystery, and there is very much the possibility that Kor may have encountered the Echo while in her Spiria and opted to leave it alone. After all, that it's a curse is just Merisia's opinion of it, not its true or intended nature.

There's an uneasy pause as Merisia tries to figure out how to respond. To push this any further would risk letting Kor in on the truth, and that's not something Merisia is sure she wants to do. Sure, she trusts him, otherwise she would never have brought this up in the first place. But even the kindest of people can completely turn on someone if they find out one stray fact they may not like. And how would Kor feel if he knew that Merisia had the power she does? Would he consider it a danger, especially given that she has no control over it? Would he consider it some kind of blessing like the Scions seem to? Would he be like the Garleans, who saw her as a monster for it? She doubts that last one, but the fear is so deeply ingrained that she can't escape her own caution. Merisia knows she has to explain herself eventually - otherwise Kor will end up finding out in some nasty way like Sorey did - but that doesn't mean she's looking forward to it.

Luckily for her, Kor gives her something else to ask about. ]

But what do you mean by physical form? [ And this is the point where she realizes just how far her lack of knowledge goes. Okay, yeah, she has to ask this one. ] Just what is the inside of someone's Spiria supposed to be like?

[ She assumed it was something more abstract than what Kor is implying, aside from the fact that he had apparently seen or otherwise experienced visions. Apparently her assumption was way off the mark. ]

[Oh boy oh boy, he gets to explain what a Spiria Nexus is like. How exciting!]

Well, back home, whenever I'd go into someone's Spiria Nexus, it's always like this big crystal maze, and the worse of shape the person's Spiria's in, the more twisted that maze becomes! And at the center is their core, which is where that person's true self lies, and also usually where whatever the problem is too.

[It was always the same, aside from minor differences.]

But here, it's a little different. Every Nexus I've been in has varied, probably because people from other worlds don't have Spirias like I know them. They always look like some place that's important to that person.

[ That's...a lot to take in, even for someone as eager for knowledge as Merisia. True self? A crystal maze, inside someone's Spiria? But she thought souls were more immaterial than that. Maybe it works differently than she's assuming. ]

I see. It makes sense that each Spiria Nexus would vary from one to the next. People are different, after all. That more variances because of all of us being from various worlds only adds to that...

[ She has no idea she's essentially mumbling this "out loud". Sorry, Kor. Old habit.

It's interesting, to be sure, but she also can't help but feel somewhat unnerved by it. The more she thinks about there being some kind of maze within her own heart, the more tangled her feelings become. She may as well ask more; it's relevant anyway. ]

...mind telling me what was mine like, or is that some sort of top-secret somatic knowledge?

Well, I kinda make it a policy of mine to not talk to people about their Spirias. Most people can't really handle the weight of what their inner worlds are like, you know?

[And ironically, being able to handle that weight is a hallmark of a true Somatic. If you can't handle the ugly truth of what your Spiria is like, how can you possibly bear the weight of someone else's?]

But if you think you can handle it, I'll tell you.

[ Merisia wants to argue that she can handle it, but she knows better. After all, how many times has she insisted that she was fine, and that there was nothing wrong, only for the opposite to be true? Does she really want to know what her own Spiria is like? By all rights, she should have every right to know. It's her Spiria, after all. And just like with the Echo, Merisia's reasoning is that knowledge she isn't happy with is better than nothing at all. The temptation to believe that Merisia isn't "most people" is fairly strong, but Kor doesn't speak lightly about these things. It might be too much, at least for now. It's honestly a lot to digest just knowing there's a world of sorts in there. ]

Fair point...

[ But there's still something she wants to know about what he saw in there. It's getting harder and harder to dodge the issue without outright asking Kor, so she opts to approach this slowly. After taking a moment to ensure she's sending this conversation to Kor and Kor alone, she continues. ]

There's just something about what was in there that I wanted to ask you about. It's not something I openly bring up, but finding you with the amulets was faster than tracking you down in person. After hearing that you'd had a vision of a meteor shower while you were in there, I got to thinking, and... [ She hesitates for a moment. This would be a lot easier in person, but this was the faster method. ] I honestly thought you would have figured it out by now, and you're just doing a better job of keeping quiet than I gave you credit for.

[ Another long pause as she tries to figure out how to say this. Eventually, unable to come up with anything, she gives up and gets straight to the point. ]

Kor. I need your help, even if it's just advice and not action. But you need to promise me you won't tell anyone, no matter what. Got it?

Edited 2018-04-10 03:19 (UTC)

[Kor stares blankly as Merisia rambles. He wasn't really sure where she was going with all this. Yeah, he remembers that vision of the meteor shower he had inside her Spiria, but he wasn't really sure how that specifically was relevant to whatever she was on about.

But her saying she needs his help was enough to get him to snap to action.]

When it comes to matters of the Spiria, I never tell a soul! You have my word and honor as a Somatic! [It was an oath he threw around often these, but anyone who knows Kor knows how important being a Somatic is to him. He'd never betray that oath.]

So what is it?

Hmph... I should've known you'd agree so readily.

[ Kor never does change. The question is, will he still be willing to help once he knows the truth? Merisia wants to believe that he will, but the only way to really be sure is to just tell him anyway. He's a good kid, she even considers him a friend, but this wasn't just any old secret. Several long moments of silence pass before Merisia takes a deep breath, and explains. She isn't going to get her fear to calm down, so she might as well just spit it out already. ]

There's this...gift that I have, called the Echo. Some people say it's the ability to touch souls, or to resonate with them. I'm not sure how long I've had it, or what about it is supposed to be a gift. The only thing I know about it for sure is the vision I'd seen of a meteor shower just before it started causing me nothing but trouble. [ Remember when she mentioned curses, Kor? Well, there you go. ] There are some people in my world who would see me as some kind of monster if they knew. Rather than painting a target on my back for them to put a sword through, I keep the Echo a secret, even here.

The other Eorzeans that arrived in this world say there's no way to get rid of it, let alone control it. You, on the other hand, aren't bound by the laws of Eorzea. I'd rather not drag you into this, but I'm out of options. If anyone can help me with something like this, it's you. I just hope I'm not making a mistake by telling you about this.

[ Somehow, getting all of that out does Merisia's anxiety absolutely no favors. She already hates asking for help, but asking for help about this is infinitely worse. ]

[There's a brief moment of silence, only a second or two, before Kor speaks again.]

Is there something you're not telling me here? Because I don't get why this Echo thingy's a curse. I mean... I understand you not liking it in your world if it got you enemies, why's it a problem here? Is it something to do with that ability? How does it "resonate" with someone's soul?

[Kor's only got the faintest inkling what that could possibly mean, and it's that inkling that leaves him even more confused. How could a power like that possibly be bad?]

[ The temptation to let out a sigh of relief is there, but Merisia resists. Just because Kor is listening doesn't mean this will end well. ]

I wish I knew. All I've got are theories so far.

[ Kor is right, though. Merisia hasn't quite explained everything, and these details are something Merisia isn't looking forward to. Rather than explain everything at once, she decides to take this one step at a time...her own emotional balance permitting. Staying calm is difficult when she's so on edge. ]

You remember when you were telling me about why you were never allowed to leave home? How I knew Creed's name, even though you never told me? [ Merisia pauses for a moment to let that sink in. She clearly remembers the look on his face when he asked her how she knew about Creed. It was almost haunting, and made her all the more reluctant to explain herself. But that silence has to end now. ] I never heard the explanation you told me. I had a vision right then, of a woman with green hair explaining something about and xeroms and Gardenia. I watched her explain how that thing had doomed her world...and I watched you ask her why Creed had been sealed away inside of you. I know his name because I heard it from you and the others that were with you.

[ Seeing Kor in the state he was in back then was painful in a way she still can't quite describe, let alone the rest of the awful imagery she'd been graced with. Her present worries aren't doing her any favors, either, but she continues. ]

It was like I was there, Kor. That's how these visions always are. And that's only one thing that the Echo makes me suffer through.

Edited 2018-04-18 03:35 (UTC)

So there's more? [Kor seems unfazed by Merisia's explanation of what happened that day. Perhaps if she'd learned something else that day, something that he hadn't been telling her, it might have been different, but as he sees it, she didn't see anything she didn't need to. And even if she had... It wouldn't be that big of a deal to Kor if she'd been up front about it like this. Which he knows she wouldn't have been, at least not back then.

But right now, he's still not seeing how this ability is a bad thing, at least in the right hands.]

What else is there?

[Right now, he can't help but think of the ways people having this sort of ability could be good.]

[ Something about Kor's response confuses Merisia, though only momentarily, before she finds her emotions getting muddled and tangled up somewhere between fear and anger and worry. But, most of all, she's surprised. He's taking this a lot better than she thought. A lot better. Of course, there's always the possibility that he could snap at her later. She just needs to press forward, for now. Stopping to question Kor's reactions is just going to complicate this. ]

... I've been told it protects you from the influence of primals. Then there's strength in battle, and the ability to understand others even if they're speaking in an unfamiliar language. Anything past that is too vague.

[ And therein lies a big part of the problem. Merisia's carefully maintained calm begins to break down. ]

There's no telling what else this damn thing is doing to me. I can't keep my mind to myself, I don't even know if my strength is my own... I've got no say in anything, it's just there and it happens whenever it damn well sees fit! For all I know, there's some horrible price I'm going to have to pay for all of this that I never signed up for! Well, I don't want any of it! I never asked to be deemed beastman myself just because I can understand them! I never asked to be haunted by visions! I never asked to watch Dezel die!

[ Maybe it's a good thing that she's not actually in the same room as Kor right now, because she's trembling a little from pent-up stress. When it comes down to it, Merisia is scared, and some of her older paranoias are resurfacing alongside new ones. What if this ruins the friendship she has with Kor? She'd finally come to trust him; what if this revelation brings that all crashing down on top of her? What if he starts seeing her the same way as the Garleans, and comes after her? Unless that stability Y'shtola talked about extends that far, Merisia has no defense against a Somatic. Kor could destroy her from the inside out.

And yet, here she is, asking him for help anyway. If her past self saw this, she'd think she'd finally gone insane. ]

I've done everything I can to find some way to either get rid of this thing or hide it away. There's nothing. I'd rather not involve you in this, Kor. You're a good friend and I- I trust you, but I'm out of options. So please, even if you hate me, just...

[ Her voice trails off there. With any luck, Kor's calm reaction to things up until this point is a good sign, but there's too much dread for Merisia to really see it right now. ]

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